The Rocking Boat of 'Modern Romance'- A Review.

I finished the book 'Modern Romance' by renowned celebrity/stand-up comedian (which I now know he is), Aziz Ansari. I don't want to go into details about how Aziz collected his information and abridged it with spicy humor and dished-out in scrumptiously tantalizing way. It is enough to be said that this book will change your perspective about Romance these days and make you doubt your methods of acquiring it (if you are single and looking) and shake your ground with questioning your love and commitment theory (if you are hooked-up) and let you see that the conundrums that are faced in the path of finding that fulfilling love are universal.

The book presented the statistics about how technology has revolutionized the Modern Day Romancing. A couple of decades ago people were marrying the person living in neighborhood and relatives and friends. Now, with the interference of technology people are connecting and virtually dating with potential prospects sitting thousands of miles apart. There are zillions of options available with just a swipe. You can find anyone matching your criteria or even better someone who is your ideal. But everything has two sides and the bummer of this highly convenient method of finding your Mr/Miss Perfect is that you won't find any. It is because you become too picky and there is always a person whom you will like a fraction better than your current interest. That is quite disturbing, isn't it? but the more horrific news is that your expectations from your partner to be has reached unrealistic heights due to easily accessible attractions with abundance of features, but still you are looking for the best and never settling. Another dilemma, which is the predicament of Modern Romance is the split personalities, the divide between the text and real life personas. The text person takes some dumb move and the real person has to bear the consequences. Texts are misinterpreted and you lose your romantic interest which you thought was made for you. The most frustrating part of online dating is that people don't make it into your real life before they decide to leave. Clicking, Texting back and forth, found something disturbing/don't feel the connection, Silence and Boom. All your dreams of long lasting relationship in shards and its the end of world for you, at least for some time. This is a vicious cycle in the sphere of online dating. And so Aziz insisted that meet people in person before engaging in series of texting and be optimistic and more accommodating when knowing someone. Don't judge fast, give people chances and so maybe it work out in the end.

The Author then took the prevailing dissatisfaction in most pledged for life relationships under scrutiny and plunged into the crux of cheating, snooping and breaking up. He discovered that social media is the root of all evil. Partners cheat on because of readily yielding candidates (plenty of fish in virtual sea) who are seeking 'no strings attached' or 'friends with benefits' kind of relationships. Infidelity, nowadays has become a commonplace regardless how spitefully shunned by masses around the globe. He highlighted the human psyche to mistrust or suspect their mate and indulgence into snooping which most of the times ends up in splitting up and heartbreak. He brought into focus people being comfortable in queerly odd settings like married and in an open relationship which is quite new, surprising and maybe loathsome for other set of people who worship monogamy. 

The next and most important thing which everyone who believes in love and is tied with someone, has to see through is the two distinct love in long-term relationships. The passionate and the companionate love. Aziz gives beautiful analogy to understand and differentiate between the two. He says, “If passionate love is the coke of love, companionate love is like having a glass of wine or smoking a few hits of some mild weed.” What he implies is that in the beginning of any relationship there is budding passionate love which blossoms with time and withers away after a short span and then there is a plateau in relationship and the room for misgivings and doubts and there at this point a lot of people fall out of relationship but if the patience is adopted and the time is invested and love is nurtured then this love will evolve into companionate form which lasts forever.


There is more to this book than the points I highlighted. I would highly recommend it to anyone who wants to get his/her facts straight and up to date about Modern Day Romance with hilarious analogies, anecdotes and a glimpse of Aziz's relationships. This book is definitely a fun-filled real experience.